White Russians with skim milk. Fuck I'm healthy.
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
Penises. Penises everywhereeeeeeeee. Penis ratio is sooo disproportionate. I can't NOT get laid tonight.
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
Apparently, his doctor was impressed with how well we took care of his leg. We're like the kings of naked triage.
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
It's okay I didn't send any nudes tonight so we are safe *inserts photo of a baseball umpire doing the safe signal*
I'm deleting Tinder. I got there he rubbed my back and then proceeded to jerk off on me.
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
Randomize
