Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
He kept saying that the puke outside the theater wasn't his and it was all a set up to keep him from partying with the whores. Then he passed out on the sidewalk.
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
I offered to buy ihop waffles for all the homeless people outside the metro. It was time to go to bed.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE ASSHOLE WHO BREAKS OUT THE SHOTS
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
I was stretching naked in the middle of my room singing "Somewhere Over the Rainbow", apparently this is what I do when I'm high and the wifi goes out
I'm fucking sick of guys. I think I'm going to date myself. No drama. And I know I'll always put out.
Randomize
