Hey sorry for feelin' up your date. Sadly, this is a mass txt.
Pro tip: Don't start playing Bejeweled on Facebook while waiting for your Adderall to kick in. Unless you have the next 9 hours free.
All I know is that if a letter starts with "I'm aware you jerked off in the bathroom last night," I don't want to finish reading it.
That's cool, I just have to let the dogs out AND SO HELP ME GOD IF YOU TEXT ME BAHA MEN LYRICS WE ARE NOT FRIENDS.
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
I tried to get you something for Valentine's Day too but they said they couldn't deliver skittles and ecstasy :(
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
As I was about to go to sleep he asked me if I was ready to 69. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK AT HIM IN THE FACE OVER DINNER TOMORROW
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
We bought only tequila and Twister. And you're STILL surprised you got pregnant?
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
Randomize
