You can only be slapped by Eastern European waitresses so many times. I guess they don't want my huge cock in their iron curtain
Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
you were carrying a trash bag around insisting it was your purse. I'll let you guess how your night went
mondays should just be called national damage control day
Woke up this morning with a note saying "great sex, see you never". Why can't I meet more women like her?
cashier rang me up and said, "white people are funny." like i'm NOT the only white person to buy just lettuce & 40 glow sticks
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
My mom just said we can't get married in nude body suits to look like earthworms. She's ruining my life.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
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