all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
Thanks for last night. Sorry if i was obnoxious. I respect your morals and i wouldn't want you to lose your virginity to a drunk girl in your mom's prius.
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
What part of don't open in front of your kids didn't you understand? Astroglide, magnums, fuzzy handcuffs and a blindfold are going to be hard to explain as friends presents.
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
I think I fucked up my elbow when I tried to fight off the paramedics.
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
My last memory of last night was being in a laundry room doing blow and admiring a washer and dryer... I think that's the earmark of old age
What does it mean when the bartender gives you 4 straws?
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
Randomize
