I just watched a guy get turned down by a prostitute
A good Q tip ear swabbing is better than bad sex.
I just opened up the mens room door to a dude pissing in the urinal and pointing at himself in the mirror
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
just had an awkward elevator run in with that guy you puked on
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
Like I had to call my dad because I couldn't manage to unlock the door. And when he got there to open it I was climbing the gate to get in.
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
It's one of those "I can't stand you but we're stuck in the same hotel room tonight so let's fuck until one of us passes out" kind of nights.
Mixing Powerade and white wine has been one of my better ideas.
How does the curb feel today?
It's stronger than my elbow. But I found my lighter while I was down there.
Randomize
