Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
4 random people called me telling me they found him sleeping in the fetal postion on a driveway 45 minutes after we lost him
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
Its 11am and I'm eating gummi bears and drinking Tennessee honey in my underwear...this is why I'm self employed
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
My roommate just yelled at me for coughing. I'd like to yell at her for doing lines off our counter last night.
Randomize
