Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
Some old bald man is a 100,000 dollar Audi sports car just revved his engine at me and held out his phone at me trying to get my number. I hate the valley.
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
I'm literally 40 minutes from where I was supposed to stay. I woke up in a parking lot.
Let it be known that on this day, the 26th of October, in the year 2016, I successfully put both of his balls in my mouth at once.
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
There's something empowering about being at dinner and sitting across the table from two men you've blown.
I'm sober now, I ate a whole cantaloupe.
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
Randomize
