I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
My dad just told me if I'm going to smoke pot, to make sure I use a clean needle. WTF?
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
Is it rude if I ask the current tenets of our future apartment if I can come and blackout for a night? I want stupendously drunk me to get a feel for the place so he's comfortable when we move in.
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
Found plan b box covered with blood. In kitchen sick. Pickle jar is empty. Wtf happened?
For whatever reason, whenever she's drunk off Crown, all she wants to do is jerk me off with her feet.
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
It's a lot harder to work after sex than it is to work drunk... just saying.
What color nail polish screams, "Either fuck me or get the hell out of my way"?
I ACCIDENTALLY MURDERED MY COUSIN
HOW DO YOU ACCIDENTALLY MURDER YOUR COUSIN
Randomize
