Woke up in a pool of alcohol sweat. Probably could wring out my sheets and make a decent cocktail.
I feel like one of those toads that you lick to get high or find a prince.... cept when you lick me you find a drunk whore.
WHY WOULD YOU LET ME MAKE THAT MUCH NOISE DURING SEX IN RESIDENCE ?!
I tried to push your face into the pillow but then you kicked like a donkey.
I love tequila.
And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
she just uttered the sweetest sentence in the english language...my stripper friends are coming over
She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
looking at that huge scar on my leg from when i got drunk at 9 AM and walked into a grill. so excited for football season to start again!
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
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