In honor of tonight, my penis will make an appearance
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
I can't tell whether I'm a) still hungover from two nights ago, b) legitimately sick or c) all of the above... multiple choice was never my forte
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
A little boy in a bathroom stall just shouted "mom where's your penis?? Is it inside you?"
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
not sure if destroying him emotionally was worth it but damn it's a fucking hilarious story
I nicknamed her "Jackhammer" for the way she gave me a handjob. My balls were in constant pain
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
I think he is using me to sort through his relationship issues, past and present. I did not sign up for this. All I want is booty. Am I the dude in this relationship?
Randomize
