I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
Ramen noodles and uncensored jerry springer episodes, what a nice life i have.
Call me in 2 minutes and go along with what I say. You're hysterical and I must go comfort you asap. He just asked if I was ready to experience sex with a wizard and he wasnt kidding.
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
The teenager outdrank all of us. All. Of. Us. I woke up and she was getting everyone water and fruit snacks. I give up.
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
I have to make calls today at work. So I'm gonna call your phone and leave some random messages. Just delete them.
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
Randomize
