I fucked **** last night, don't tell mike
this is mike. we're done.
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
i put that paper plate back in your cabinet because i ate all the ketchup off and you can't even tell. you're welcome.
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
Hey. I thought you were saving your 80s playlist til marriage.
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
The last time I thought I had a UTI, I ended up having herpes. Sooo.. This time in preparing myself for cancer or death.
Just remembered I said your cat looked delicious last night.
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
I'm hearing voices and sirens. I'm scared. I heard a manatee out there.
Randomize
