i think my mom watched the whole time
I just drove by a church. On the sign out front was written 'crocodile cock'. On both sides.
i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
He decided not to draw dicks on my face when I passed out because he was afraid I'd retaliate and superglue his dick to his stomach....he knows me too well.
The bloodstain in the garden looks like a sad face. Like I don't already know this is bad...
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
Well there's a microwave in my yard now too. I fucking Bruce/Caitlyn Jennered decathloned that bitch.
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
There's something empowering about being at dinner and sitting across the table from two men you've blown.
Yeah, but i got vodka and bacon out of it, so it's fine.
Randomize
