i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
im just going to superglue mistletoe to my forehead and see what happens
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
Notice: I will be intoxicated and in your area this evening. To unsubscribe from my sexual solicitation list, reply 'fuck off'.
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
We were walking home from Pluckers (read carrying your drunk ass) and out of nowhere you yelled "Say bitch you got a Facebook?" at a random chick walking by.
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
In my top drawer right now, there are see's chocolates, condoms, weed, and my vibrator. One way or another, this is going to be a good night
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
Also, my guy said they would be around. And i clarified that when I asked him for mushrooms he didn't hear "a mushroom or two" but rather understood I meant "all the mushrooms you can find between now and 4th of July."
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
Randomize
