thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
Note to self: Not getting laid all weekend makes girls in mondays classes racks seem enormously bigger.
So my grandma sent me a valentines day present of waterproof mascara, tissues, and chocolate. Way to reinforce that I'll be single and depressed on valentines day. Thanks grandma.
he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?!
you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop
I brought him flowers on my way home from cheating on him. Boyfriend of the year award right here.
"Masturbate" is an actual item on an actual ToDo list of mine. It is at the top.
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
I woke up to both of you drawing on me in sharpie, unless a glorious threesome was had the night before that is not okay.
Who says it wasn't?
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
It's days like today that make me happy I'm not a porn star.
Clearly you need to take sleeping pills and put your phone in the toilet
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
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