and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
did you by any chance leave me that 7 minute long voicemail of you running and constantly tripping into bushes?
I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
I'm like a walking PSA for tequila shots
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
I need to stop getting high and watching documentaries. Wanna go to Japan with me and protest the mass genocide of dolphins?
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
Kinda awkward to hear your aunt complain about loose women when you're in town to be a stunt dick for a swingers convention. Just sayin.
HahahahahaHAHAHAHAHAHAHA MY LIFE IS A CAUTIONARY TALE
Well I'm over here squandering a fabulous hair day and radiant complexion
my grocery cart consisted of hershey bars, sour patch kids, starbursts, mayo, 4 frozen pizzas, 4 lunchables, and chips. clearly, i can't do this on my own.
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
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