Remind them to make the "above the influence" commercial about us fallin off a ferris wheel
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
you got in a fight with your imaginary friend last night when he didn't catch you after a surprise trust fall
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
I can assure you I didn't go home with a girl, because I woke up on someone's porch
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
Want ramen today?
I need a salad
SALAD DOESNT WARM YOUR HEART AND BELLY
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
your mission the party friday: cockblock me at ALL costs. I've cheated on my boyfriend twice. I feel like three times would be crossing some sort of line...
and no, I don't care how how hot he is
Randomize
