Are you missing anything? I found a wedding ring in my bed this morning.....
she was definitely wearing a bumpit. i think it was the hollywood bumpit. i told her that i lived with my parents to get outta taking her home.
One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.
I keep waking up with the nagging feeling I gave him half a hand job through his shorts.
remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
Were at her birthday dinner and her dad keeps buying me shots saying when I was your age I fucked the shit outta girls
Hahahahahaha remind him your dating his daughter
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
Hey do you remember me?
You were a giant banana.... how could I forget.
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