yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
Just snuck alcohol into the hospital for my mom.
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
His pick-up lines are quotes from Doctor Who. Of course I fucked him.
Best case scenario I do a bunch of dirty things to you, blow your mind and you enjoy it. Worst case I stare at you, poke at you, smile and droll on myself, you laugh.
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED. WHO CAME HOME WITH ME. WHAT THE FUCK RESPOND ASAP I AM SO CONFUSED
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
Randomize
