I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
the women in the ladies room did not appreciate my innovation of turning a sink into a urinal
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
DUDE EDDIE MURPHY JUST DID A BODY SHOT OFF A HOOKER. IM NEVER COMING HOME
Apparently all year they've been using me as a standard of drunkenness
You don't realize it's a small world until your ex girlfriend's dad unintentionally messages you on grindr..what.the.fuck.
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
Have you ever thrown up in the middle of your hair appointment? Cause I have..
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
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