we have pet lesbian snakes
Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
His body is like Jesus fingering me while I eat birthday cake
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
Fuuuuck. Forgot it's October. FYI scarecrows are gonna fuck you up when you're driving high
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
He followed me on twitter after I posted a drunk screen shot of a tweet. It's like he gave me permission to stalk him on a whole different level.
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
Our livers get a hall pass for 2020, right?
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