I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
He asked me why my bellybutton was so ugly... and wondered why i wasnt in the mood anymore.
You tried to poop in the sink last night.
He was streaking. We were hammered. We had roman candles. It only made sense to shoot them at him.
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
I'm sorry but I require more work than your hamster. I need food, a minimum of 5 pillows, and I need to be played with daily.
Trying to figure out the logistics of putting my laptop speakers on this plate with the last slice of pizza. Too drunk to move the plate. Not an option.
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
Yeah yeah I know I have to bring your dog back.
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
Randomize
