Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
every time fb tells me a dude i fucked is now friends with another dude ive fucked, i die a little inside. thats way more honesty than im comfortable with.
He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
And know that if I ever text "road head?" that it comes from a place of caring and not a place of heartlessness..
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
Tom just texted me he's Tindering from his hospital bed while they're running heart tests on him.
That's dedication to the game.
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
Randomize
