My mom gets in bar fights. She doesn't go to bed early.
So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
What if he stabs me in the back, mid-orgasm, as I sit on his face? It'd be a miraculous way to go but that's not the point
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
Randomize
