I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
Just scheduled a cocaine deal around my drug counsler appointment. Why yes, thank you, I do enjoy the irony that is my life.
We were gonna play Truth or Dare but like 10 minutes in we decided to get naked and play Dare or Get the fuck out.
So the same day I accidentally bought waterproof mascara is the day I accidentally had shower sex. The world is finally on my side.
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
Worst drunk idea ever... Me "Cops are looking for two guys, one in a grey shirt one in a blue shirt" jelly "lets take out shirts off they'll never find us" of course I thought it was brilliant
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
We also had a full on debate about how realistic and useful teleportation and time travel would be...and only used Twilight Zone episodes as "scientific evidence"
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
Wedding party came into the bar an hour ago. Mother of the bride is a stage five clinger. send help.
Please don't throw the wedding bouquet at me
I keep track of what day of the week it is by my recent destinations on my nav system. \nRight now it's: booty call, bar, booty call, brunch, bar, church so that must mean we are getting close to Sunday when we start the rotation all over again.
Randomize
