somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
Would it be out of line to take a picture of all the earrings, rings, hairclips, and other miscellaneous girl items that I found under my bed and post it on facebook and tag all the girls that I slept with this year so they can claim their shit and get it out of my house?
Mom, I'm really sorry you saw my naked ex-boyfriend in the living room this morning. I can explain....but I'd rather just stick with this apology and be done with it
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
I think I'm so comfortable in my sexual relationship because he mostly wants to see me naked with large plates of bacon tastefully placed upon my body
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
Randomize
