i jhust puked up my retainher.
Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
right as i was about to introduce them she goes "old fuck buddy, meet new fuck buddy."
This has been the most pleasant arrest experience I've ever had.
proof that my night is going well: I can still open doors
He's. Duct. Taping. His. Phone. To. The. Wall.
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON
PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY
THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
He came over last night and as soon as we started having sex Siri announced "you've arrived at your destination." I think it was some kinda sign
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
Randomize
