it was a mass text i'm sorry
do you usually send 'hey sexy' as a mass text?
You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
I loved your drunken rendition of "I wanna dance with somebody" that you left on my voicemail last night.
I totally accidentally said "we don't go around hammering girls in the rear" in front of 132 5th graders today.
Ran into my neighbor that's always crying. I wonder if she's like; "I ran into my neighbor who's always playing with her vibrator?"
He brought her home and fucked her in a gingerbread man costume in a cardboard rapunzel castle. He had a pretty good night.
I am sending my doctor an XXXMas card thanking him for my tits!
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
You told me you were trying to learn all the MLB ballparks while you waited for your porn to load.
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
Randomize
