I'll pay for our taxi if you let me makeout with the drummer and we don't leave RIGHT when the bassist does.
maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
if you want blown tonight you're gonna have to take me up on that offer now. in less then 45 minutes you're gonna be blacked out and i'm not doing something i'm not getting credit for in the morning.
Monday is now my bitch. I just did 20 naked push ups on the bar for $20
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
Dude you were sitting in front of me eating uncooked bow tie pasta...
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
I'm literally 40 minutes from where I was supposed to stay. I woke up in a parking lot.
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
The beauty of getting kicked out of college again is I can fuck my professor's brains out and she can't get fired now
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
Randomize
