don't wear any deodorant. we have to do everything we can to sabotage this wedding
You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
I made out with the bride. You tell me how my night was
I forgot to tell you the best part. The folded up paper he wrote his number on opened up to be a picture of him when he was younger wearing a Columbia tshirt in front of NASA and in pen said his name and "space consultant."
He asked if I was on the pill, apparently I just downed my glass of beer and winked at him...
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
Tell him next time im gonna be "disgrace to the family" drunk
She's just so happy...and so naked.
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
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