She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
I am midnight drunk by noon
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
you were saying "i am the vodka queen!" and then in a different voice replying to yourself "all hail the vodka queen! you are so beautiful!"
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
After blacking out and loosing my phone for a month, I found it in the parking lot across the street. Last text "rager in the street". I remember none of this.
I couldn't tell you were laughing too hard
Dude I thought I set my hair on fire. I wasn't laughing I was screaming.
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
Like if a baby's bottom had nipples, that's how my boobs feel
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
Did my roommate wake up in your girlfriend's apartment in drag again?
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
Randomize
