The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
Dude sorry i couldnt seem to spell any words right in the texts i sent you last night
I felt like a fucking code breaker.
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
You stole my crutches last night at the bar, the DJ had to ask for them to be returned
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
Drunk yoga at 11 am turned into me sitting on the couch making fun of the girl in the instructional video. By the way, what the fuck is a third eye?
Don't wake me up to tell me to cook for you because you don't like taco meat.
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
There is a pool of ranch salad dressing in my purse...I know thats always been something you've wanted to try..so don't even act like you didn't do this.
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
Randomize
