Just found out what was wrong with Esther. Turns out she's 33 and still not married. This explains everything.
then I woke up and felt a boner that wasn't even mine. never taking 3am vodka again
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
I swear he shrunk like 2 inches. Remind me that drunk sex needs to remain drunk sex.
her cat was choking so she kept trying to stick her finger in her cat's mouth while saying "it's okay kitty, just do what mommy does"
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
I sang again at the bar lastnight I don't think alanis morrset knew when she wrote you outta know that the drunk version was going to be go fuck yourself Josh and Chelsea. I love $2 wells.
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
getting busted for public urination is like, a step above j-walking. you'll be fine
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
I wore grinch underwear to my well woman exam this morning and I feel like I adulted successfully today.
You were so drunk Last night you asked for your glasses so you could read the directions on a band aid
Randomize
