1:57 a.m. Where did you go???
1:58 a.m. What are you doing? I want to go home with you, why aren't you responding?
2:11 a.m. Heading back to your place now, will you let me in?
it was like his penis was on wheels.
Amanda Bynes on the cover of maxim is my 8th grade masturbation fantasy come to life
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
I feel like im in a tornado of daylight savings, tequila and death
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
You're fine
I'm hiding in my chest because my walls smell weird. I'm not fine.
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
Probably won't be invited back there again considering last time his purebred corgi ate my pot brownie and had to be rushed to the hospital.
I’ve chosen to watch a Mercedes station wagon drive around the Austrian in the rain because it’s live sports. If that doesn’t explain 2020, I don’t know what does.
Randomize
