return my video game
dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
Jake just asked if thanksgiving was an american thing...I left the table
I feel like that needs to be the last time i end a text with "fuck them i love tequila".
Let me clarify that those tears were for losing my fuck buddy and his penis, not to the fact that he decided he wanted an actual relationship with feelings.
Eating nacho cheese off the carpet. How is your morning?
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
Also that boy who jizzed in me wearing Cowboy boots and a plaid shirt snapped me at 4 am and said "I owe you a dinner. Sorry"
I finally realized he drank way too much when he tried serenading me to the song "come my lady" while slowly and creepily making his way toward me...keeping constant eye contact.
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
Randomize
