I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
he told me my vagina needed a tic tac
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
I knew it was on when he was dancing on stage and I gave him a dollar so in return he ripped my tit out of my shirt and started sucking on it IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BAR.
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
I'm still, like... really stoked about not having any STDs
Like I'll lick your nuts to make you feel better if you don't get it
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
Randomize
