Kelly, is this rhetorical, or sarcastic? You are very kind & quite beautiful, but we never really evolved into anything & your prevailing ambivalence spoke more than words ever could.
"We" really do not exist-if we ever did. Both of us may have been hoping for more than was possible.
I would enjoy sitting down to talk about the dissolution, but think it may end up being counter productive.
Oh shit. I just had to lure him into the bedroom so I could take the list of his negative qualities off the fridge so he wouldn't see.
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
Oh boy. Send him a care package with laxative cookies and alcohol. So he can shit himself while he's passed out drunk.
You were supposed to be my wingman and all you kept to her friend was "kill it with fire"..
My boss just lit a candle and said a prayer to get laid tonight ..
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
He just stopped me mid blow job so he could text his wife asking for TacoBell.
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
How far are you from my house? Do I have time to masturbate before you get here?
Randomize
