i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
how the FUCK am I supposed to macarena while doubble fisting?
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
I have no idea why I said that. I have no idea why anything happened last night, I broke my toaster making a egg. I'm going to quit drinking.
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
Hey, I'm making progress. I haven't thrown up in a bar while wearing a sweater vest in almost two months.
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
Just so you know, I woke up with 2 oven mits in my bed and no clothes on.
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
I want a shirt that says, "I'm sorry for the things I said when it was Taco Tuesday"
it's like that time i was drunk at relay for life. but with balloon animals...
Today I saw someone riding a horse on the sidewalk by aldi when I went to walmart. Old town road was playing on the radio. It was perfect.
Randomize
