They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
dude, im still at the bar with two chics... one has a moustache ill save that one for you... be home in 20min..
holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
Uh, do you remember who's thong is in my tree?
Friends dont let friends get hit with a flaming baton without warning
Suuuuuuper drunk and just sang fuck her gently to the chiminea. I'm in bad shape.
We are winners. And by winners I mean home wrecking sluts
Isn't that what our 20s r for?? Testing the strength of other people's shitty relationships?
Bitch looked at my dick and said "I thought they called you horsecock, I'm already disappointed"
I told you that line would get her home never said it was a good idea
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
It feels like the devil is humping my brain with his razor sharp erection.
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