A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
where am i from again
I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
You tend to look at life differently when you wake up to nutella vomit all over your room with no recollection of how it got there
You know how to spell recollection?
got hammered last night, woke up this morning to 38 texts that varied from "you fucking asshole" to "i can be there in 10 minutes"
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
She poured beer through the deck into the hot tub. She called it a deck shot. It was horrifying but super awesome at the same time.
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
If y'all wanna know how far the apple fell from the tree I'm sexting during Easter service. Mom would be so proud 😳
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
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