It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
he broke up with me so i peed in his bed
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
You will not judge me for my made-up holiday of wine appreciation day
my post shower fart this morning sounded like hulk ripping through a phonebook
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
I literally just rubbed my stomach and told my liver to "hang in there baby"
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
Like seriously how stupid drunk do you have to get befor you start finding dolphin lighters and shit in your undergarments
Randomize
