Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
god please explain to me why there's blood underneath my fingernails AND toenails?!?!
Dude To be completely honest I don't think you want me to.
I'm going to get a baby outfit made and send it to her that says: "My husband fucked his subordinate and all I got was another baby".
positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
My brother just woke up to see me on te couch dipping hamburger buns into pizza sauce. I'm beginning to question the life choices that led to this moment.
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
I walked into a McDonalds at 8:30 am with a half-eaten apple and a solo cup. Never felt so judged.
It's gameday bitch. Man up.
I just realized I haven't had a date or a potential possibility of a date in about a year. Then I realized I wanted to actually go on a date. But I'm sitting here getting high instead of being at a party. Life.
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
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