chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
Random girl at this party just gave me a lap dance in a la-Z-boy. Night significantly improved.
I mean how do you tell a nurse in the ER that you dislocated your knee giving a blowjob to your boyfriend.
Very innocently.
He said he was gonna go pull a lochte and the next thing we know he's outside ass naked peeing in the neighbors kiddie pool.
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
I think drinking White Russians at half past four in the afternoon is perfectly acceptable. I'd bought a LOT of milk and cream that needs to be used up. Resourceful, check, fuckable, check. You have a great girlfriend here pal.
Please warn me if you ever end up in porn, cause I don't want to stumble across that on accident, okay?
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
That moment that random you banged behind the bar is going to be your son's third grade teacher... yup I'm there.
He woke me up at 6:30 to have sex again and afterwards, he didn't even judge me when I asked him if he wanted some rum. I think I found my soulmate.
This is why I should’ve just stuck with blow jobs. I’m good at blow jobs. Blow jobs never fail me.
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
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