Remind me to tell you the Scottish bar story tomorrow
Remind me to tell you it was a shitty story when you're done telling it tomorrow
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
I really wish I had added "blowjob on a slide at a playground" to my bucket list before last night.
We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
It would only make sense that I'd cheat on him with his best friend on the ides of march...
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
If you break up with me one more time it's over.
Hey. You got pizza and sex. How much more can you ask for?
Randomize
