Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
my sex list reads like a who's who of mcdonald's general managers
Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
Someday soon you'll wake up next to a bottle of jameson and a half eaten lean cuisine and then you'll be just like me.
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
I found someone's tooth on the stairs when I was vacuuming, and my sister found a catheter in the men's bathroom... this cleaning job is dangerous
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
Just told some little girl not to judge me as I brushed my teeth in the target bathroom
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
The Wolf of Wall Street “I ain’t fuckin’ leaving!” speech when the cops broke up your party though...
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
See, this is why you don't do nice things for people. You'll get stuck in the snow and you won't catch a dick.
He was walking around and kept offering the neighbors flamingo lawn ornaments shots of vodka.
Randomize
