i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
Had a drag queen carry me to the car. So I'm told...
Lazier than spoon feeding yourself popcorn and debating adult diapers so you don't have to leave the mentalist marathon on tv?
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
He was trying to hotbox the banana suit. Of course we traded him for vodka.
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
Is re-gifting a Valentine's Day present worse than re-gifting a Xmas one?
You're unbelievable, unbelievably awesome.
He's thawing a cheesecake on his stomach. We're that high.
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
I think I'm gonna cut my hair just so I stop waking up with semen in it
I just heard a crying baby from out my apartment window and yelled SAME
Randomize