I almost hooked up with this girl last night. she had a tattoo of a cardinal next to her cooter. said it reminded her of her grandpa
yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
I got fingered by sexual harassment panda last night, by a van, I can't remember if he took off his furry panda hands...
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
Don't be too mad at the guy who broke your kitchen table. Didn't get his name, but he knew all about your gay porn career. Like DETAILS...
It felt like a sumo wrestler slapped me. With a wet hand. 8 times in a row.
Out of curiosity, do you feel happiness for you, or sadness for ME, that you are the only one I drunk text?
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
Randomize
