she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
trying to fathom saturday night and the fact that Rainn Wilson now hates me. my brain hurts.
i just noticed 4 flies in my red wine. i drank them.
I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
If we don't get kicked out of this hotel tonight for fucking too loud we're breaking up
Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
also I just used a straw to drink the juice out of a tomato b/c I forgot how to bite.
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
You disappeared for an hour and showed back up with handfuls of bratwursts and yelled at my girlfriend that if she didn't eat them, that the nazis win
I miss you more than I would miss junk food if I went on a diet. And you've seen me eat, you know how desperate I'd be.
My parents are takin me for chinese food for my 4/20 present.
I fucking hate you.
Sweating vodka and spray tan, I feel like a trophy wife.
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
I feel like a grown up and it scares me so I'm hiding out in the bathroom stall and messaging you
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