I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
I told her Billy Mays couldn't convince me to sleep with her
he screamed my twitter name while we were having sex.
I got tired of walking to the bathroom that I decided to throw up in a cup. I now have 3 cups full of vomit on top of my mini fridge
I just found out that AAA will pick you up if you're drunk for free if you're a member. How did I not know about this?
the way i see it him paying 500 bucks for my fake abortion is karma's way of punishing him for cheating on his wife
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
I bet the guy on the treadmill next to me with the noise-canceling headphones wishes he could trade them for smell-canceling noseplugs. Hard to believe that last one did not involve any pants-shitting on my part.
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
I should know better than to open your texts at the grocery store
I think my roomie is silently judging me for spraining my foot by having sex in a bounce house
so the bounce house and tequila was good idea then?
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