"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
woke up this morning with "hah" written on my penis.i was like wtf?? morning wood kicked in and found out what it really said, haNNah.then i remembered.
Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
He called me a "functional alcoholic" like its a bad thing.
She tried to wake me up by touching my dick. I kept pretending to be asleep.
I want to fuck you with a popsicle till it melts then eat it out of you
Really.
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
he broke off your car antennae to use as a walking stick before he smoked because he claimed to lack the facial strength needed to open his eyes when he's high
I've been smelling a baby wipe for three minutes. I didn't think I was that drunk but I guess I am
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
Sexting and pancakes... It's going to be hard to top that
You set fire to his cat.
In my defense, I did not think it would be in the trash bag.
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
Hey do you care to explain why there are 3 empty pickle jars next to me when I woke up or do I even wanna know?
Randomize
