Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
Is it bad that I was more upset about not getting the perfume he told me he had bought for me then the actual breakup?
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
He kept yelling "osteoporosis" and threw milk at her because she broke her arm.
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
I'm pretty sure I got a cavity today due to how many times I've puked hungover at work.
Feel like I died but someone put me In a human microwave and I got back to life.
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
No I need this job. I actually contemplated buying a vibrator with my dad's credit card the other night.
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
Randomize