I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
Hit a parked car with a "property of Jesus Christ" bumper sticker. Wrote out five hail mary's and left it on the windshield.
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
Blowing a married man is so much more important than a 12 year olds basketball game.
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
You think your roommate is bad? The guy they paired me with is such a nerd, his very presence at a party blocks every cock in the room.
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
Randomize
