I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
I just watched a girl in the library pull a vodka bottle out of her bag. I think I'm going to give her my number.
How in the hell did I take a shot of whiskey to the eyeball last night?
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
The sigh of relief when u realize none of your drunk texts will result in permanent damage
Don't judge them too harshly for getting kicked out of a strip club. Happens to the best of us.
You are the coolest girlfriend ever.
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
Have you ever tried to have sex with a fairy? My penis is literally bigger than her.
I wouldn't marry anyone who wouldn't symbolically fuck a doughnut with a sausage though.
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
You are allergic to dogs. DO NOT kidnap something you are allergic to. No matter how fluffy.
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
I don’t know what language he speaks but I know my boobs will translate just fine
I’m looking forward to few days of international relations
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