Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
fuck yea just found my unicorn costume from when i was 8... still fits
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
Our lady landlord called. Dot worry, I handled it. Drunk. Tell her it was Nate. Done. Good. Bye. Drunk.
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
I want you to know that the guy who peed in your bed got fat.
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
I'm sorry I peed on myself in front of your boy toy. You should tell him I'm usually not that trashy. It was nice meeting him tho..
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
The part where he comes over and ignores you isn't what makes me mad about that story... It's the fact that he ate your tacos, AND THEN proceeded to ignore you. That's cold hearted.
I wish I could accurately explain the embarrassment of standing in your bathroom with women's nair on your ass waiting to get in the shower.
drunk me always erases text conversations because she is a woman of mystery and does not like for me to know what's going on in her life
Randomize
