And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
I really hope jumping jacks prevent pregancy because I'm kind of banking on it right now, do you know why there's a unicycle in the corner of my room?
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
Sometimes I'm jealous of turtles because they can just go to their homes whenever they want by putting their heads in their bodies.
How high are you?
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
come home. i made deep-fried hotdogs; don't let me die alone.
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
I can appreciate that you picked up the hot drummer, but don’t have sex in front of my house lmao
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